


Fading Without You

by AmalgamWriter



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: AU, Angst, Blood, M/M, Never Famous, Pain, attempted suicide, fluff?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-14
Updated: 2013-04-14
Packaged: 2017-12-08 11:37:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/760897
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AmalgamWriter/pseuds/AmalgamWriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Liam left and Niall's broken. Too broken to fix himself.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fading Without You

 

“I should've known I would never be good enough for you,” Niall said to no one in particular, as he dragged the blade across his arm. The blood spilled out of Niall's veins steadily. His life slowly drained in front of his eyes.

“I tried to be your everything,” Niall sobbed. 

Niall's phone started playing 'White Horse' next to him. With the little bit of strength Niall had left, he reached out and picked up the phone.

“Hello?” Niall gasped out. He fought to keep his eyes open and stay awake long enough to hear his voice one last time.

“No? What's going on? Are you okay?” Liam asked, worry lacing his soft voice.

Niall stared at the once white tile floor now stained a deep read with his blood and sighed, “I'm fine. I'm numb now and soon I'll never feel again.”

“What do you mean Niall?” Liam cried out, frantic. “what have you done?!”

Niall let out a cold, mirthless laugh, “What does it matter to you? You don't love me. I'm not your problem anymore.”

Niall closed his eyes as the phone slipped through his limp fingers. He was finally going to grant Liam his wish. He would be out of his life, forever.

“Niall? NIALL!” Liam screamed as he rushed into Niall's house. It had been almost 3 minutes since Niall had hung up on him. 

Liam found Niall's body on the bathroom floor, clutching a letter in his hand. Liam checked him for a pulse, tucking the letter into his pocket. Feeling a very faint pulse, Liam frantically called 911.

“911, what's your emergency?” the operator asked calmly.

“My name is Liam Payne. I'm at 211 N Isles St. I'm with Niall Horan. He's cut his wrist and is bleeding out. Please send help!” Liam cried out into the phone in agony. His best friend was dying in his arms. 

“Okay Liam, an ambulance is on the way. Just stay calm, everything will be fine. Now, can you tell me how long he has been bleeding” The operator asked as she dispatched an ambulance to Niall's house.

“At least 4 minutes, probably closer to 8,” Liam answered as he pressed his fingertips to Niall's jugular. Liam was elated to feel the faint pulse still there. It was barely there but he could still feel it. 

The ambulance arrived about 3 minutes later and they rushed Niall to Mercy Medical Center. His heart was only just beating. It took 2 transfusions and 176 stitches to save Niall. Liam refused to leave Niall, he sat by his bed, reading to him, while waiting for him to wake back up. While Niall was in a coma, Liam read him all 7 Harry Potter books. In between chapters, Liam read Niall's note over and over again, committing it to memory.

The paper was wrinkled and starting to rip, and even though he could recited it from memory, he wanted to see the words that Niall wrote him. The words that obviously came straight from the heart. 

 

_Dear Liam,_

_Well my love, I guess this is it. When I told you I would die without you, I meant it. When I promised I'd love you forever, I meant it. I just wish I would have lied._

_Remember the first time we made love? You were everything I had ever dreamed of. I couldn't help but laugh at the funny sounds you made and that silly smile on your face. We risked everything that night, just to be together._

_I knew then that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. When you left me, I tried living without you. I tried to be strong. Everyone said the pain would get better...eventually go away. But it never did._

_I'm sorry I wasn't good enough...wasn't perfect. I'm sorry I fucked up. I tried so hard to be your best friend, your boyfriend, your life partner. Even angels fall sometimes._

_As I close my eyes for the last time, know that I love you and always will. Goodbye._

 

He didn't sign his name, he simply said goodbye. Niall knew Liam would understand. 

After a week in a coma, Niall finally opened his eyes again. Liam's pale green eyes looking down at the letter clutched in his hand was the first thing Niall saw.

“Li?” Niall croaked out, his voice like sand paper. All he wanted was a drink of ice cold water and a kiss from Liam's amazingly soft lips. 

Liam jumped up so fast, he knocked his chair into the wall with a loud crash. He hit the call button for Nurse Cher, who Liam had become really close, before grabbing the ever present glass of ice water. Liam gently put the straw to Niall's lips, telling him to drink slowly so he wouldn't upset his stomach. Niall happily obliged.

“Why Ni?” Liam asked when Niall was done drinking, finding it hard to speak past the lump in his throat. “Why would you do this to yourself?”

“Because Li, I couldn't live in a world where you hated me. You saved me, more than you ever knew, and when you left I couldn't do it anymore. I couldn't handle it,” Niall said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

“Silly boy, I could never hate you. I love you. Life wouldn't you hasn't been worth living,” Liam whispered back. 

“Then why did you leave me?” Niall asked with tears streaming down his face. “Why did you tell me you didn't love me?”

“Because you deserve so much better than a complete fuck up like me. You deserve someone who makes you happy and can give you everything you deserve. Someone who isn't dying,” Liam said, his voice hoarse as the tears he tried so hard to hold in started to cascade down his face. 

Niall didn't speak for a few moments, letting this news wash over him. Then Liam's words hit him like a ton of bricks. 

“DYING?” Niall screeched, causing his throat immense pain. He must have heard wrong, he thought, panic setting in. 

Liam gently clasped a hand over Niall's mouth, stifling the noise he was making. 

The door quietly swung open and Nurse Cher walked in. Nurse Cher had gotten to know Liam quite well in the last week and had grown quite fond of him. Cher viewed Liam like a little brother. 

“Oh!” Cher gasped. “Niall! You're awake. How are you feeling?”

Liam removed his hand slowly and spoke first. “I'm sorry for upsetting the patient but I told you I wouldn't lie to him anymore Cher. He asked me why I left.”

Cher nodded knowingly and quickly looked Niall over. She knew how hard this was going to be for both Liam and Niall. Neither boy deserved the heartache. Cher wished she could do something, anything to make it better. 

As soon as Cher left the room, Niall turned to Liam, his eyes moist once again. Liam took a deep breath, trying to mentally prepare himself. 

“No, I have a tumor...in my heart. The doctors aren't sure how long I have. They don't think I would survive an operation to remove the mass and the donor registry doesn't really have any hope for me. You're only 21 Ni. You shouldn't have to watch me die,” Liam said, tears freely falling. He held up a hand as Niall started to refute what he was saying, telling him to wait. 

“Please, just...just let me finish. I thought if I told you that I didn't love you, you would eventually move on and forget about me. I knew it would hurt you but I thought watching me die would hurt more. I never thought you would do something like this.”

“So why did you call me? Why did you save me?” Niall asked, more confused than he had ever been. 

“Because being without you was killing me faster than the tumor was. I couldn't take it anymore,” Liam replied quietly. “I was on my way to your house, but I wanted to call first. If..If I...If I hadn't been so close already...you wouldn't...you would've died...”

Niall asked Liam to crawl into the small hospital bed with him. Niall wanted nothing more than to be in his arms once again. He needed to feel his touch. 

Liam gladly obliged. Soon they were wrapped in each others embrace. They lay silently for a while, just enjoying the others presence.

Soon Niall started to fall back asleep, with Liam not far behind. 

“I don't care if you're dying,” Niall whispered as he drifted off to dreamland. “I loved you before and I love you now.”

“I love you too,” Liam whispered back as he too fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much. If you enjoyed please leave a comment or kudos. You can find me at WeightlessMemories on tumblr. <3 Alex


End file.
